OFFICE SPACE

I swear that sometimes, the company I work for is a cross between OFFICE SPACE, Dilbert, and an out of control daycare.

The Marketing manager-on his own initiative-sent this out to all the "senior executives" in my company via the executive distribution list. While reading this, keep in mind, this was sent by the Marketing manager-you know, the guy who orders t-shirts and golf towels with the company logo on them, and who should be kept very far away from technology decisions:

From: (MARKETING MANAGER-NAME REDACTED)
Sent: Thursday, March 30, 2006 12:00 PM
To: (COMPANY NAME REDACTED)Senior Executives
Subject: IPv6 - A Heads-Up
All -
Between now and (probably) 2008, the Internet as we know it will undergo a radical change, which will result in businesses undergoing substantial software and hardware upgrades (i.e., desktops, routers, software). Internet service providers will have to adapt also. And, amazing, new applications of Internet-based technology for both businesses and consumers will emerge. The big headline is that many businesses will be put at a competitive disadvantage if they do not adopt IPv6 and all it will enable.
IPv6 is short for "Internet Protocol Version 6". IPv6 is the "next generation" protocol designed to replace the current version Internet Protocol, IP Version 4 ("IPv4"), which has been around for 20 years. Most of today's internet uses IPv4, which has been remarkably resilient in spite of its age, but it is beginning to have problems. Most importantly, there is a growing shortage of IPv4 addresses, which are needed by all new machines added to the Internet.
IPv6, which has actually been in existance for five or more years, fixes a number of problems in IPv4, such as the limited number of available IPv4 addresses. It also adds many improvements to IPv4 in areas such as routing and network autoconfiguration. IPv6 is expected to gradually replace IPv4, with the two coexisting for a number of years during a transition period. However, the big news is that IPv6 will foster greater connectivity. Instead of today's 600 million computers connected to the Internet, there will be tens of billions of "always-on" connected devices (i.e., telephones, sensors in vehicles, cell phones, home environment controls). Everything will be person-to-person, with middlemen cut out of the communications channel. We'll all have discrete, portable IP addresses. The Internet will always be ON. Multi-media will get bi-directional and highly interactive.
The major milestones signifying IPv6 rollout are Microsoft's launch of their new Vista operating system (business version this year; consumer probably in 2007 or 2008); the Olympics in China, which will be staged entirely on an IPv6 platform (China adopted IPv6 five years ago and is far ahead of the US in infrastructure build-out), and the US Government mandate that says after 2008 the government will only purchase IPv6 compatible systems.
For more information, Google: "IPv6"

Maybe he should have Googled "CLUE" instead?

Here is another email, this one sent by the CFO of my company to all the users, er, employees (most of the "employees" in my company are either lawyers or bankers or both. This was not sent because we have a bunch of 17 year olds working here.):

From: (NAME REDACTED)
Sent: Thursday, June 02, 2005 6:26 PM
To: All Employees
Subject: The use of email


I have a request. Please use email efficiently.

Several illustrations:

Write short concise emails,
Address emails to the right people (a longer distribution does not make the message more important),
Make your point very clear in a "friendly voice,"
Avoid carrying on conversations via email. For me I have lost track of the subject after the first response,
Know when to call on the phone rather than "firing off an email" and,
When you feel obligated to reply to an email that was sent to multiple recipients, think twice about using the "Reply to All" function. Many of the original recipients do not necessarily need to read your response.

Let's all increase our productivity by using (or not using) email more effectively.

If anyone is about to reply to this email, please stop and reread it.